Not RELAPSE-ing on Em's new shiz

The worst thing a former drug addict could hear is that they were better when they were high. Unfortunately, I have to say that to Eminem. The problem is now I know why I wasn’t a big fan of any of his full cd’s after The Marshall Matthers LP. He’d spiraled into some serious drug use making most of the songs on his cd’s lame. Although, each of the cd’s had a couple of tasty singles for the most part the albums themselves were disjointed. I get it. But that makes me sadder.  Will the real Slim Shady please stand up? He phoned in his performance at the VMA’s and I watched that clip of him with Jay Z at the DJ Hero launch party---want the game; hated the performance.

I can imagine this is hard for Em. I mean if all of the time you’ve been performing you’ve been doing it from behind a blunted, liquored, pilled up haze then actually having to perform sober is probably almost trippier than doing ‘shrooms all day.

Yet, I can’t give him that slack.

Yes, his rhyme skills are still sick. As much as I hate to even hear the verses for 3AM I find myself looping the chorus in my head. And quiet as kept, its one of the best beats on the cd (although clearly Dre can’t find his way out of his own formula if you showed him the exit). I could (and so could the world) have absolutely done without “We Made You”; it was “My Name is…” at its worst. Em you are a star you don’t need the gimmicks.

Actually…maybe he does.

I’ve always thought of Em as the white dude in a group of black guys that would do anything. He was the dude they’d point to and say, “Marshall is a crazy muthafucka!” as he’s stuffing corn chips up his nose while licking the cocaine plate dry. But despite that, he earned my respect as an Emcee by being a lyrical monster. There was a point where he was killing most of the MC’s out there and I put him in the same category with Jay, Nas, Rakim, Biggie, and Tupac.

But you know what?

I know that your life is hard. Yet, when my life is harder I have a very difficult time feeling empathy for a multimillionaire. The “poor me” shtick died for me on The Marshall Mathers LP. He was the first celebrity that I had compassion for when he dropped the bomb that is, “The Way I Am.” I got it. Anyone who listened got it. Here was a trailer park kid whose life suddenly was like winning the lottery---damn near broke one minute; got enough money to pay rent the next. It was a jolt. Everything about that cd resonated with me because it was truly ambitious but real and simply one of the best cd’s of all time. If I put together a top five hip hop cd’s that to this day I can pretty much bump all the way through…it’s in there.  The only song on there I can’t listen to is “Kim.” It’s way too much. On the new cd, the song that even touches close to my heartstrings has got to be “Beautiful” the song he admits to writing after coming out of his brief stay at rehab during one of his moments over these past four years where he was sober before he really got into sobriety years later. But still, I don’t feel sad for a multimillionaire and their oh, so problem filled lives.

I know Biggie said more money more problems but you know what? I think I’d rather have the more money and deal with the more problems.

I’ll quote Jay-Z right here when he said recently on the Angie Martinez show, “...[money] gives you more freedom than anything.” So Em I’m sorry I’m done with the “woe is me; I’m rich.” Boo-hoo’ing. Keep it to yourself. You got enough money and clout to surround yourself with the people that you want to be around and work with the people you want to work with. I don’t have that luxury. Most people don’t.

My other question is, if you’re sober, why all the songs with the drug references? Since I know that you’re sober, “Crack a Bottle” just isn’t as realistic or fun. Addiction is some crazy shit and it’s nothing to poke fun at. So I can’t even laugh with Em anymore. What I see is a man trying to hold onto some semblance of the character that he created; that is in part him. But why do that? If you can’t be you; sober you, then stop recording. And if you can’t do that, you might want to keep sobriety to yourself cause who really believes you now?

But there’s a small price to pay for that. Think about Mary J Blige. We all love that Mary is happy and sober and living life in a positive way. But shit everybody in some ways misses depressed addicted Mary. The music was better. It’s a fans stupid selfishness. If you are gonna be sober and have fan buy in you gotta give us the things that we loved about you. Mary is slowly doing that. Em, you got a long way to go.

It’s not that the game didn’t miss Em. While he was gone Soulja Boy and idiots like him threatened to take over the hip hop empire. While Em was gone the internet became the place to “discover” music. While he was gone we lost him.

I don’t wish addiction onto anyone. It’s the monkey that can kill you. It’s the monkey that will torture you. It’s the monkey that weighs you down even as you’re watching all of your world crumble. But Em, you’re gonna have to get yourself together. I believe that the only reason why Relapse sold so much in it’s first week is because people are starving for your music. Asher thought he could have that spot but his cd turned out to be lame frat boy hip hop. He should’ve stuck to the underground. Today’s true lyrical beasts tend to turn out more music online than they could even push on SoundScan, which is where Asher should have stayed.

But like most Em fans I was fiending for his next cd, only to be let down…big time. I’m gonna keep it on my list for awhile, maybe it’ll grow on me. But honestly, right now I’m looking to Jay to revitalize hip hop. Sorry Em, go back to the lab…or rather I’ll see you in 6 months when Relapse 2 comes out. Oh and tell Dre he can keep Detox.